It is of my opinion that most of us, if not all of us, possess a certain ‘skill’ that we are good at above everything else. For some people, it may be sport. For others, it may be understanding the most complex of mathematical equations, or being able to paint the most beautiful and imaginative paintings one can possibly hope to see. I genuinely think that we’re all good at something and that some of us probably won’t recognize what that is, but it’s still there. For me, I’d have to say that it would be writing and it’s become clear to me in recent months that this is where I want to be.
At one point in my life, many years ago, I used to be all about creative writing, such as writing books or stories. Basically, fiction. I did manage to finish a book a couple of years ago that was named Crimson Blood and was a fantasy story involving a race of demonic creatures rising from the bowels of the Earth and setting out to demolish everything that wasn’t of their own species. To be perfectly honest, it probably wasn’t that good. I rushed through it and didn’t spend nearly enough time developing the characters and instead choosing to focus on the action. I’ve since lost the only copy I had of it and there are no hopes of ever finding it again. Still, that was the last time I can remember being interested in writing a story/book.
I took a sort of sabbatical from any form of writing for many years and only decided to return to it last year, when I created this blog. I never knew if I would end up sticking with it for the long run because I’d created blogs before and abandoned them when nobody ever read the material I was posting. After all, why would you continue to plan long pieces of writing and spend time meticulously making them readable, only to have nobody read them when you’d finished? It was demoralizing and I gave up. Everytime. This time, however, things are a lot different. As I’ve said before, I never had any expectations of getting any views when I created this blog. Yes, one or two here and there were to be expected but nothing more than that. There are some days that go by where I do get no views and that’s fine, because that period doesn’t last long before the stats counter reveals a little spike in activity. However, the creation of this blog has not only served to remind me why I loved writing in the first place, but that this is my ‘skill’; this is what I consider to be my defining talent, even though I’m not perfect, and it’s because of this blog that I came to realise what path I want to undertake – Journalism.
I know that I am not the best writer in the world. Proclaiming that I was would be a monstrously high opinion of myself and, quite frankly, would probably make me look like an absolute arse. I know that sometimes I make errors, whether they be grammatical or otherwise, and I know that I can improve. There is always room for improvement, after all. That being said, I just love to write. Even if it’s a simple 140-character message on Twitter, I love it. Being able to write professionally, for an audience and for a living, is where I feel I belong. I don’t know whether people like what they read when they visit my blog (and if they don’t, I’d sure love to hear their opinions) but regardless, I feel at home here. I’ve spent many hours thinking about what I enjoy doing and what I see myself doing further on in my life and it always comes back to this.
This will sound absolutely bizarre but many, many years ago when I was still at high school, I used to sit down for hours at a time and pretend I was a reporter for a newspaper based upon the Grand Theft Auto games. I would conjure up stories, characters and simply get absorbed in creating a whole other world out of one that was already vast in size. This faded in time, of course, but this period reminds me that being interested in this form of writing isn’t something that has only appeared to me in the last few months. Being able to report on real events, not figments of one’s imagination, would be truly the greatest thing I can imagine myself doing at this present time.
Being interested in writing does have its drawbacks and that would be the fact that I am my own worst critic; I am never 100% satisfied with anything I have written. There is always a ‘flaw’ somewhere that I imagine will drag the entire piece into the dirt and it’s just as probable that the flaws I imagine to be there probably aren’t. I read articles from other people and constantly compare my own written abilities with theirs, usually in a negative manner against myself. It’s a personal flaw that I struggle with everytime I finish a piece of writing and I’d be curious to hear if anyone else has something similar.
Anyway, I don’t usually do more ‘personal’ posts such as this but I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Not a day seems to go by whenI don’t think about it, these days, hence the reason why I wrote this. Blogging has been a revelation for me and I now know that I won’t be abandoning this effort as I have previously. Even if I only get one view a day, that one person has made the whole thing more worthwhile. At this point last year, I was still not writing anything and had no inspiration to do so. Now, it’s the complete opposite, and I couldn’t be happier about it.